Public Pervert[s]

You know, for people who really aren’t into hugging, the French are all about PDA. In the words of my father, “you can’t swing a dead cat” without smacking into a couple in the midst of sucking the lips off of each other, or at least getting a little too handsy. One time, I even saw a couple doing this: 

I think this is pretty strange, but my main problem is when
you get stuck behind pocket partners, they're usually really
slow walkers and nearly impossible to maneuver around.

 Also:

Swinging a dead cat. The couple wasn't doing it (hands in pockets!), but I
wanted to give you the visual to go with the expression.

Recently I went to a great little coffee shop with some friends. It was really cozy inside and we picked a corner nook to sip our Nutella hot chocolate (Yes, you heard me! I’m also not 100% sure about the grammatical rule here, but I think Nutella deserves a capital letter.) and we did a little people watching while we were at it. This couple came in soon after we settled in and the guy playfully pushed the girl down onto an overstuffed sofa, which seemed a little inappropriate to me. Then he proceeded to straddle her and start up a hot and steamy make out session, right there in the middle of Amelia’s Coffee and Cookie shop! I’m sure my eyes bugged out of my head a little and I was thinking, “It’s lunch time! Is anyone else seeing this?”…

The answer is yes, and no one cared. In fact, right in the middle of all the action the guy came out from behind the counter and brought them their drinks. Seeing that they were obviously…shall we say preoccupied, he left the drinks on the nearby end table and walked away as if there was nothing strange about the situation at all. In fact, I’m starting to realize that those kinds of things are pretty par for the course around here. What was I supposed to do? I think the answer is clear-order another Nutella hot chocolate and mutter under my breath about "kids these days!"